Mmmmmm sharky.
Alright alright, finally another dream worthy of blogging.
This is absolutely ridiculous.
I'm running down a beach, wearing only lifeguard shorts, and swinging a gigantic chain in my hands. There's a kid about to get in the water. I know there are sharks in the water, and if that kid gets in, he's going to get ripped to shreds. Just as he's about to enter the water, a gigantic shark pops it's head out of the water. The shark is barreling down on this kid. Just as the shark is about to make lunch out of this kid, I swing the chain and hit the shark in the face, sending it skipping across the water.
Other sharks enter the area. For some reason, the shore drops off almost immediately where the ocean touches it. Dozens of sharks are swimming right up to the shore, so I run up and down with that crazy huge chain, smacking them in the face and turning them away. They're not happy. They're yelling at me. One of them gets a chain link right on the nose.
"That didn't even hurt" said the shark.
"Oh? Really?" I asked.
"Yeah, that wasn't that bad" replied the shark.
"Well I don't suppose you'd a like a massage?" I asked.
"Oh I could definitely go for one of those" said the shark.
"Well I charge $20 an hour" I said.
If talking sharks aren't weird enough, here we go.
The shark comes out of the water, gets on the beach, and starts hovering everywhere. His underbelly is a hovercraft, perfectly blended with his body. Ridiculous. He shoots along the beach, curls through some people, and hovers back into the ocean. At this point I die laughing. I can't believe, even in my dream, that a shark can hover in the sand of a beach.
The next thing I see is a mother walking her two children into the water. I try to warm her that it's not safe. That there are sharks in the water. That I've apparently been using a gigantic chain to murder sharks left and right on the beach. She ignores me, but I hear a voice come from the water. "I'll take care of it" the voice says. What?
A right whale is sitting just off the shoreline, this ridiculously deep shoreline. The mother literally tosses her kids in the water, and the whale simply nods his head, sending a wave over the children who are swept up on shore and start laughing. I pick one of the kids up. He has barnacles all over his face, just like the right whale. He even has the same hair as the whale does. Yes, for some reason, this whale has a combover.
"This kid looks just like you dude" I say to the right whale.
"Don't I know you from somewhere?" the mother asks the whale.
"The whale looks at me painfully and says "That's impossible. I don't know you". Surely he meant to tell the mother this, but I'm not certain he actually knew me either.
I look at the woman, who is quite attractive. I look at the whale and say "Come on dude, it's OK".
I'm not entirely sure what was "OK", but I did spend the next few moments trying to explain how it would be possible for a beautiful human woman and a gigantic right whale to have a kid. The little kid with the whale head and the human body didn't seem to mind.
That's all I can remember. There was more to it, but that's all I've got. Have fun with that.
