Things We Definitely Don't Need

Stupid.

Here's my list.

1. Remote controlled Manta-Ray. Operates in up to 8 feet of water, but you can only be six feet away from it. Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose if you're not inside the pool your Manta is shooting around in? How stupid.

2. Electric-powered bumper boats. So expensive, not that fast, super crappy.

3. Anything replicated from a movie, such as Harry Potter wands, a pin that says "I believe in Harvey Dent", or anything that looks like it may have come from Mordor. Nothing makes you more of a nerd than one or all of these things in different combinations. If I ever see a person with a Hogwart's cloak giving out packs of cards made entirely of Jokers and raving about halflings, I'm going to punch them.

4. If I ever see someone with a ramp in their house specifically for their dog to get on the bed or sofa... holy crap, I don't even know.

5. Insert your name on the back of a jersey of a player scoring the winning run, or jumping on the "joy pile" at the end of a big game. HOW STUPID IS THAT. If I saw my last name on the body of someone shaped like Kevin Youkilis, I would piss myself. I should hope everyone else in the room would do the same. My name, on the back of a Red Sox jersey, in the middle of the action. Diagnosis: retarded.

Why do we feel like we NEED all these THINGS?? Andy Braner told it to me best... a buddy of his was driving him along in Durango some years ago and they passed a gigantic mansion overlooking beautiful mountains. Andy marveled at the location and wondered aloud what it must be like to live like that. His buddy simply looked at him and said "Dude, it's all gonna burn".

Ha!

I wish I could live like that. Just make myself do it. I can't though. It looks like I'll have to ask God to change me from the inside out on that one. Hmmm. Change my heart? Again?

Worth a shot.